Hot Topic Tuesday: Love and Things

I know, you're looking at that pink and red picture that totally says, "Valentine's Day" and thinking, Lisa, it's January, not February. But you guys, it's right around the corner, I'm sorry to tell you! So get ready. The stores are filled with boxes of chocolate and pink teddy bears already.

When I was in high school, the big thing on Valentine's Day were the flowers sold for the Key Club's annual fundraiser.  It was called The Key Club's Carnation Sale or something like that.

Anyway, I hated that day. The popular girls had boyfriends who would buy them a dozen or more of those flowers, and they'd carry them around all day like the Queen of England. I never had a boyfriend like that, and I'm not sure I really cared about getting a flower anyway, except I think there was a part of me that felt left out if I didn't. And I hated that feeling.

So here's what I want to know... why do girls feel like the more the guy buys her things, the more he loves her? I mean, okay, yes, some guys are really good at picking out gifts and doing the right thing on every holiday that comes along. But some guys aren't. And I'd argue whether a guy is or isn't doesn't say anything about how much he cares for a girl.

Am I right? What do you think?

Does it make you mad if your boyfriend isn't the gift-giving type? And if so, do you try to change his ways, or accept him for who he is?


Lydia Sharp said...

You're absolutely right about accepting someone whether they buy you things or not, but...

I have to admit I was the type of girl who would say "no, you don't have to get me anything" but TOTALLY EXPECT A GIFT. And if you didn't get me something, despite me telling you not to, I'd hate you forever. Or at least for a day. ;)

My husband knows me well enough now that he calls me out on my "no you don't have to get me anything" nonsense. It's like saying, "I'll just have a bite of yours" and then eating his ENTIRE MEAL. Why do we do such stupid stuff? Girls are just as boneheaded as guys, I swear. *eye roll*

And the stupid flower days at school! Ugh! I hated those, too, even if I did get a flower (notice that is singular). This reminded me of BEFORE I FALL by Lauren Oliver. If you didn't hate flower days before, you will after reading that book. Haha.

jenniferpickrell said...

My school did paper hearts instead of flowers - it was something like: red means I love you, pink means I like you, blue means you're my friends, etc., etc. I guess the thought was that everyone had at least one friend so everyone should get a heart (in theory).

Of course the popular girls would have stacks of paper hearts and all us other poor schmucks would get blue hearts from our guy friends who thought it was clever to write messages like, "Here's a bloody heart, haha, I guess you're okay. For a girl!"

I always found it a little embarrassing to get flowers, though - if a guy gave them to me before a date, I always thought, "What am I supposed to do with these?"

To this day, I'm still more pleased by practical gifts - a high school boyfriend gave me one of those emergency car window breaker things and I still have it. His friends were all, "Dude, what's up with the lame gift?" But I was swooning...hah.

Ginny said...

@Lydia: I was thinking of Before I Fall, too!!

As to the question... ah, right, I don't have a boyfriend, so I can't really tell you ;)

Denise Jaden said...

*coming clean*

I admit, I'm the opposite of this. And I know most people will find me ungrateful. But I'm just not really a gift person. And my husband is, so he buys me a lot of gifts, and I just don't swoon over them the way he hopes. I'd rather he take me to my favorite ice cream shop or give me a back massage. I *try* to give him gifts, because I know they're important to him, but I admit, I'm not terribly great in that department either.

Micol Ostow said...

Here's the thing: I dated a few guys in high school who used the whole "not really into gifts" as a cover-up for "not really into being with Micol." So I do think there's something to be said for a guy who "gets" that sending a rose on Valentine's Day might be a nice sign that you care about your girl's feelings and aren't too cool to own up to being attached.
But the flip side of that is that I DON'T dig big, flashy gifts that are given just to make a point. I much prefer something potentially smaller but way more personal and thoughtful. On our very first Chanukah together, when we'd only been dating a few weeks, my husband gave me a bag of gifts and goodies for my dog, who he knew was v. important to me. So sweet and way better than something more overtly "romantic."

Laura Pauling said...

I think it depends on what a person's love language is. Gift-giving is not my love language. So, yes, I appreciate gifts, but they don't say 'I love you'. But to some it can mean the world. So, yes, I think for some girls out there it does mean they are loved. My love language is acts of service. So if my hubby cooks dinner or scrapes my car in the morning - I know I'm loved. Eh, I don't need flowers.

Adeeva Afsheen said...

Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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