Here at H.T. Tuesday, no subject, no matter how controversial, is off limits. This one hasn’t really gripped the public imagination on a midterm elections or Lady Gaga’s meat dress level yet, but it’s definitely bubbling under. Pretty soon, this debate will explode onto the national stage, and I think we should be prepared. I am talking, of course, about the fierce debate over which is cooler: the otter or the giant otter? I have attempted to break this complex issue down into a sensible list of pros and cons, steering clear of the heated emotions that often cloud such issues.
OTTER (just a normal otter, say the northern river otter of North America or the Eurasian otter)
Pros:
Cute and endearing; more so than the giant otter, which could frankly be a little intimidating in person
Very clever
An able fisherman!
Sleek, shiny, shampoo-commercial-quality fur
Cons:
On the Wild Animal Fight Chart, an otter could probably take, like, a rabbit. Even a very small predatory cat, like an ocelot, would be out of its league. Unless they were fighting in the water, in which case the ocelot would be screwed. (Otters are like the Aquaman of nature’s Superfriends!) The Wild Animal Fight Chart is mostly land-based, though, and beating a rabbit isn’t very impressive.
Similarly, their small size (like a cat, basically) is a problem in terms of lifting and pulling things. They would definitely need a cart to get their stuff through an airport, for example.
Fishy smell
GIANT OTTER
“Seriously, lady, if you don’t put me down, I’m’a kick your butt.”
Pros:
They are just as clever as other otters, and their fur is just as lustrous. They are equally skilled at fishing, but due to their large size (up to six feet!), they can catch much larger fish. Heck, they could probably capture a child on a float toy!
They enjoy a similar advantage on the Wild Animal Fight Chart. A full-grown giant otter could take anything up to, say, an Ewok.
They live in the Amazon. The animals there be ballers, yo. That is like the NBA of the animal world, and giant otters have some LeBron to ’em—they snack on piranhas!
Come on, it’s a giant otter… Those words are both cool. Put ‘em together and they own it!
Cons:
Bigger otter = bigger fishy smell
Too big to really “play well with others.” There aren’t a lot of places you could hang out with a giant otter without causing a commotion. A dog run and a fancy seafood restaurant are just two examples of trips that would go downhill fast.
More impressive but less cute, which is sort of a pro/con hybrid
In Conclusion:
And so there you have it. You can see why this is such a hot topic. I’ve been over the list many times now, and there are compelling cases for both the otter and the giant otter. So which is cooler? I say [drumroll please . . .] the giant otter! What do you think?
